The vertical pedal of life 03/30/2004

Almost five days without updating... I know it must seem like I'm ignoring you or something, and it's half true. I'm "or something."

Life feels like it's accelerating. 0-60 in no seconds flat. I think I remember going through this back when I graduated. You feel like a crash test dummy, strapped in and zooming towards the wall of real life, and you can only hope the airbag kicks in when you finally make contact.
It feels like I should have nothing to worry about. I've been graduated, been a working professional in the field I studied for... Leaving this job and moving on to bigger and better should be a piece of cake, right?

Except, it never felt like I graduated. Part of that was getting hired by my school immediately after I went through the graduation ceremony. Part of it was finding out that I hadn't really graduated in the first place.
And I think part of it is my obstinate refusal to give up my Peter Pan fantasy. Not the flying part of it (since any fool can fly; you just need to throw yourself on the ground and miss), but the whole never growing up part.

Seems I'm doing that whether I want to or not.

Fucking nature.