Wasting my time at work 2003-03-30

Yeah, so this aint my idea or anything. I pretty much yanked it (or Ctrl-C'ed it) from Cruel Irony's diary, who got it from someone else. Sounded like a good idea... we'll see what I think when I'm done...

100 (pointless) Questions

1. Are you an innie or an outie?
I'm an innie, but only as long as you're refering to belly buttons. For genitalia, I'm an outie.

2. Have you ever worn bell-bottoms?
Yup. Own a pair right now. Still wear them. You dig?

3. Have you ever written a song?
Yes. A couple of them.

4. Can you make change for a dollar right now?
Uh, no. No I can't.

5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet?
Yup. I worked in a theater where we had to clean the restrooms after every show, and it's not like we split it up according to gender.

6. Have you ever smelled your own feet?
Yes. And it was a disappointing experience.

7. Do you like catsup on or beside your fries?
Beside. Eggs are a different matter entirely.

8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
That's a negative. And I've tried. Oh, how I've tried.

9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout?
Nope. Tried being a cub scout, but I was horrible at it.

10. Have you ever broken a mirror?
Yes. I've broken several mirrors, but not from looking at them.

11. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole?
No. I was fortunate to have seen "A Christmas Story" before the opportunity arose. Besides, I live in Southern California. Where am I gonna find a frozen fucking pole?

12. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Close-mindedness.

13. Do you slurp your drink after it's gone?
Sorry, I'm trying to figure out how that's possible. If the drink's gone, how can one slurp it?

14. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk?
No.

15. Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper?
Neither. That shit's disgusting. But I'll take a nice Double Double any day of the week.

16. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?
One of the few things I have not down that involve public nudity.

17. When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic?
Nope. They ask me if I want paper or plastic. I say plastic.

18. True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza.
True. Oh yes.

19. Did you have a baby blanket?
Not so's I can recall. I did have a stuffed animal, a monkey, and I still have it.

20. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?
Yes, it's called shaving.

21. Have you ever sleepwalked?
Yup.

22. Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds?
Jesus, what's with the questions pertaining to shitty fast food... No, never had a Birthday Party at McDonalds.

23. Can you flip your eye-lids up?
Not by themselves. But I haven't done that in a while, so I'm not sure anymore.

24. Are you double jointed?
Nope.

25. If you could be any age, what age would you be?
1000 years old, just so I could tell Methuselah to kiss my ass.

26. Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair?
Not that I can recall, but it wouldn't surprise me if I had.

27. Have you ever thrown up after a roller coaster ride?
Nope.

28. What is your dream car?
1960 Ford Cobra. Mmmmmm.

29. What is your favorite cartoon of all time?
Gotta say Cowboy Bebop. Yup, I'm an anime nerd.

30. Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child?
I guess.

32. Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?
Of course.

33. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?
Assess the situation and act accordingly. (In laymen's terms: pound on the windows and invent new swear words)

34. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Yes. Didn't like it much, being strapped to a gurney and all.

35. Can you pick something up with your toes?
Depends. Little things, yes. Bowling balls, no.

36. How many remote controls do you have in your house?
I'm.... not really sure...

37. Have you ever fallen asleep in school?
Oh yes. The dreams you have while at school are the best.

38. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year?
Three times. But before that it had been a very very very long time.

39. How many foreign countries have you visited?
Uh... Six, I believe. Mexico, Canada, Netherlands, Denmark, Germany, and Sweden.

40. If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal?
I'm not a competitive person, so I probably wouldn't compete even if I was in shape. And certainly not for just a medal.

41. Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy?
This is a stupid question. Money doesn't make you happy, it makes you comfortable. I would, (and so would most people), pick being happy every time.

42. If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float?
I guess it would depend on how quick I am sinking. I do have a panic threshold, after all.

44. Do you ask for directions when you are lost?
Yup. But a better question is how many times have I gotten lost...

45. Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean?
No.

46. Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland?
Hm. Tricky question, since I'm a guy. I think I would be more comfortable in Wonderland than in one of Grimm's Fairy Tales.

47. Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points?
This is a stupid question.

48. Do you prefer light or dark bread?
Depends on what I'm eating.

49. Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs?
Fried, most times... Though I love scrambled too. It's so hard to choose sometimes.

50. Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas?
Yep. That sucked.

51. Do you talk in your sleep?
I used to. Don't think I do anymore.

52. Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn?
Probably mow the lawn, but I couldn't say, since I've never had to shovel snow before.

53. Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by a python?
Bitten. The chances for survival are higher.

54. Have you ever played in the rain?
Of course. Anyone who hasn't isn't missing out on life.

55. Which of these do you think is more dangerous: an angry bear or a hungry white shark?
Well, a bear would be more dangerous to me, since I rarely go to the ocean. But I would consider the shark to be the more dangerous of the animals.

56. Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten?
Yeah. I'll admit it.

57. Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
Only in their spelling.

58. Do you drink pepsi or coke?
Yes.

59. What's your favorite number?
#11

60. If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car?
I would probably be the world's most fuel efficient SUV.

61. Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel?
No. Everything I've taken from hotels has been on purpose.

62. Would you blow your nose at the dinner table?
Been there, done that. But not if there are guests.

63. Have you ever slipped in the bathtub?
You know, I don't think I have. (Knocks on wood, furiously)

64. Do you use regular or deodorant soap?
Shit, I don't know. It's just soap.

65. Have you ever locked yourself out of the house?
Yes. And I felt like an idiot.

66. Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices?
A Simpsons voice. Easy.

67. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be?
Probably anyone but Marlon Brando. His eating habits are outside my budget.

68. Have you ever gotten a truck driver to honk his horn?
Yes, but not recently.

69. Which would you rather live with: a huge nose or crossed eyes?
A huge nose. I'd be a shoe-in when casting for Cyrano De Bergerac.

70. Would you hang out with someone your best friend didn't like?
Yes.

71. Would you hang out with someone your best friend liked, but you didn't like?
Not unless I was with my best friend.

72. Have you ever returned a gift?
Yeah.

73. Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you?
I've done that... But I wouldn't if they knew that it had been given to me first.

74. If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be?
Attend as in watch, or attend as in participate...Well, doesn't matter, it'd be soccer for both answers.

75. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Four.

76. If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her?
That happened just this past Christmas. I told her. She gave me the receipt, and I traded it in for something else.

77. Do you sing in the car?
Yes.

78. Would you rather jump into a dumpster or into a vat of honey?
Well, I've already jumped into a dumpster before... so I guess I'd choose the honey.

79. What is your favorite breed of dog?
Great Pyrenees (sp?)

80. Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter?
No. Starving people, yes. Animals? no.

81. If you were a bicycle, would you be a stingray or a mountain bike?
Mountain bike, I guess... but we're skirting very close to a stupid question with this one.

82. What is your least favorite fruit?
Cherries.

83. What kind of fruit have you never had?
Beats me, though I'm sure there's something.

84. If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick?
I would totally clean up at the 99cent store!

85. What brand sports apparel do you wear the most?
dumb question, I'm skipping it.

86. Are/were you a good student?
Did I get good grades... No. Did I care... No. Was I one of the smartest in my class... Yes.

87. Among your friends, who could you arm wrestle and beat?
Myself, maybe.

88. If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in?
(snicker) The executive branch.

89. Would you ever parachute out of a plane?
Well, I'd jump out first, and pull the parachute on my way down.

90. What do you think is your best feature?
Damn, I don't know... Ask one of my friends for the answer to this one.

91. If you were to win a grammy, what kind of music would it be for?
Best Cinematic Score... I guess.

92. What is your favorite season?
Winter, I guess.

93. How many members do you have in your immediate family?
Five, counting my brother's wife. Which I do.

94. Which of the five senses is most important to you?
It's a tie between touch and smell.

95. Would you be a more successful painter or singer?
Painter.

97. How many years will/did you end up going to college?
It took seven and a half.... but that's if I don't go back.

98. Have you ever had surgery?
Nope.

99. Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player?
I imaging football players make a little more, so I'm going where the money is.

100. What do you like to collect?
Books, and the origins of words.

Looking Back / Glancing Ahead

Shit You Might Want to Know


Name: Michael Drace Fountain
Age: 25
Occupation: Theatre Technician
D.O.B.: 9-16-78
Likes: Rain, Coffee
Dislikes: Close-minded, whiny lemmings
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