Faking it 2004-02-01

The past couple days I've been competing with a cold for domination over my body. It seems the cold is winning.
Yesterday we played tug-of-war with my voice; half the time I sounded normal, the rest of the time I sounded like the noise a frog would make if you accidently stepped on it.

Feeling this way doesn't make want to be very sociable, but last night was the official wrap party for The Butler Did It, so I felt sort of obligated to make an appearance.
I did duck out quite early, and got me some 13 or 14 hours of rest, but still, there I was.
And there my ex-girfriend was, too. She, if you recall, played the maid in the film (pretty sure I mentioned this, my brain running on half its batteries right now, due to congestion).

A friend of mine asked me how I dealt with it, hanging out with my ex-girlfriend now that we're broken up, even though I'm still in love with her.
"Doesn't it hurt?" she asked. She was going through a similar situation, having broken up with her girlfriend recently. But her girlfriend lived far away, so she didn't have to see her on a regular basis.

It hurts. My heart fucking aches when I'm around her. But it's not like I do it to punish myself, and it's not like I'm hoping to get her back by hanging out with her.
I just can't imagine not having her as a friend, plain and simple.

"And so," I told my friend, "I fake it." She shook her head in amazement.

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Anyway, here's hoping I beat my cold to a bloody pulp in today's boxing match.

Have a great week, folks.