Some People Don't Wear their Stupidity Publicly. 2003-07-09

So, yeah. Most people don't wear their stupidity quite as publicly as I am right now.

You see, I am now the bearer of an inch-long scar, paced right in the center of my forehead.
It was my own fault, of course. Such things usually are. At least the swelling has gone down, so it no longer looks like the husband came home.

What happened was, well, we have a pool at my house. With a diving board. Now I don't know about most people, but unless you're actually practicing your diving for competitions (which I never am), the only way to go off a diving board is by not diving.
By diving, I mean flying towards the water in a particualar movement and then entering said water with as little splash as possible.
It's the as little splash as possible that's key here. Try to remember that.

As I am not a diver, and do not plan on competing in the Olympics anytime soon, diving off the diving board is quite out of the question.

Going for long hang times and big splashes. That's me. That, and as crazy of a jump as I can imagine. Foward flips, back flips, side flips, twisting in mid-air flips. Belly flops, face plants, watermellons, suicides. Whatever I could think of that would look crazy and cause big splashes.
It's just how I am. Everyone says belly flops are painful, so I do them to prove they aren't, or at least, that I'm crazy for pain.

It's stupid really. I know this. But it's also a lot of fun.

On the particular occasion that I earned this scar, I was belly flopping into the water after jumping as high as I could. The jump that got me my scar was just beautiful.

I was soaring through the air, as high as I've ever gotten off the diving board, body perfectly parallel to the water, hands behind my back.

Usually, when you hit the water in a belly flop, you don't go too far underwater. You just slap the surface and bob underneath by about a foot.

Which is why I was so surprised when my face crunched against the pool bottom.