My last test in college. 2003-01-28

So, I've mentioned that I've graduated... I've mentioned that it took a bit of work to get it... But what I haven't done is relate the whole story of what the hell happened that I didn't get my diploma after I walked.
My major at Chapman U was scenic design, and come to think of it, I'm the last person who will ever have graduated Chapman with a scenic desing emphasis. They've stopped offering tech theatre as a major, you see.
So here's what happened:

It's spring semester of 2000, and I'm sitting with my evaluator, going over my transcripts one last time. Yup, I'm done, she tells me. I meet with my advisor. Yup, I'm done, he tells me. I go through the graduation ceremony (more hung-over than I've ever been in my life, in 90+ degree weather), and I get a job. My job happened to be working in the scene shop at Chapman as a Staff member.

Well, it's the end of Fall Semester of 2000, and I still haven't gotten my diploma. So I go in to find out where it is. I meet with my evaluator, she says, Nope, you're not done. You're 2 credits short. What class, I ask. TD 105 and TD 305.

Here's the funny part, TD 105 and TD 305 are production credits. What this means is that you sign up for this class and you have to work on an aspect of one of the shows that semester, building the sets, hanging the lights, running backstage, etc. We call em crew assignments. Well, my job description is such that any student who comes into the shop to work would be under my (and the other guys who worked in the shop) tutelage. So while I wasn't officially the teacher, I was teaching them.
Yup, that's right, I was basically teaching the classes that I was missing credits in.

How the hell did it happen that I was missing these credits? Here's how:

When I came to Chapman, those classes were offered at half a credit. Part of the requirements for my major was that I take 2 credits of TD 105 and 2 credits of TD 305. Which means I would have to enroll in the class 8 times, once every semester (for those who don't like math). Well, the very next semester, they changed the 105 and 305 from a half credit class to a full credit class. Makes things a little easier. Unfortunately, when I signed up for these classes, everyone else was getting a full credit, but because of my catalogue year, I was only getting a half credit. Not that they told me this.
Apparently this detail escaped my advisor and evaluator as well. Until after the fucking fact.

So what did I do? Enrolled in the class I taught, of course.

This worked fine, except I couldn't write down the hours I was enrolled in class as hours I worked. Since I needed the money more than I needed the credits, that option closed itself off to me. So I petitioned for the credits. Since I had done the work, and I taught the fucking class, you'd think I was satisfying the requirements.
Nope, they denied my petition, and asked me to take the class.

What it finally took was me rewriting my goddam major, so that 105 and 305 were no longer a requirement for me to graduate. That of course, passed with flying colors. Then it only took another six months for them to get the paperwork right and mail me my transcripts.

Of course, they didn't mail them. I had to go pick them up.

So yeah, 6 and a half years to finally graduate... and they change my job description so I no longer even teach the fucking class.