Time, stand still. 2002-12-31

A little over two weeks ago, she went home, and I missed her.

I dropped her off at the airport, gave her a hug and a kiss goodbye, and then she disappeared.

She would reappear on my phone every now and then. "Hi" and "I miss you" and "I'm going to the movies with my sister." And I would miss her a little more each time I talked to her.

And then she came back, on a perfect Sunday evening, and my arms remembered how to hug her, and my lips remembered how to kiss her, and my heart remembered how to beat faster whenever she looked at me.

Tomorrow, she disappears again, for nearly the entire month.

And so I want to curse the sun, so that it freezes in place. And fight Time off with a sword, so that it cannot touch us. I want everyone else to disappear instead, so that I can hold her forever.

Too bad she's mad at me. She's mad at me for something, I'm not sure what I did but I want to apologize anyway. And I'm scared she's going to disappear and still be mad, and when she reappears, I'm scared my arms will forget how to hug her, and my lips will trip up trying to say her name, and my heart will forget how to beat, because it's all just an illusion.