Losing the race 2002-08-26

This is it. In three weeks I will be the last guy in my circle of friends from high school to have not gotten married or start a family. I know that doesn't sound like such a big deal, and it probably isn't all that much.

But dammit, I'm only 23. Every time I visit these guys, there will be the obligatory questions about my love-life and how soon it'll be before I have a wife of my own. Hell, I already get those questions from some of them. I keep wanting to say, "Sorry, didn't know this was a race."

I know they mean well. So does the doctor performing euthanasia. But neither marriage nor euthanasia should be something someone just rushes into. I'm not ready. I won't be ready for a while. If ever.

Then again, lightning could come out of the sky, strike me dead, and turn me medium rare before I have time to blink. If that could happen, then I guess the other could as well.

I was talking to a close friend, and she asked me why when bad things happen to people, they accept it with an air of resignation, but when good things happen, they immediately question it and look for problems. Of course she caught me red-handed.

I've gotten back on the dating track, if you haven't heard. Seeing a girl right now, and she's more than excellent. I was hugging her, thinking to myself, this can't possibly be real, any moment I'm gonna wake up. Yep, she's that amazing.

And then she asks me that question about accepting the bad and questioning the good things.

And for once, I didn't have an answer.