Cyber Sermon- Summer, Tangents.... 2002-06-24

Summer, Tangents, Life, Death, and the Whole Nine Yards

��but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.� --Philippians 3:13

�Suspicion Breeds Confidence� �A sign behind the desk in the film �Brazil�

�After the year 2000, the only people who�ll be safe to have as friends will be dead people.� � Hunter S. Thompson

So it�s summer. What does that mean? Well, here on the West Coast, in Sunny SoCal, it means melting. Slowly, as if in hell. You know, most of the time, I�m not so sure about the whole global warming issue. But every summer I�m forced to rethink my position and decree it possible that our world�s going down the universal toilet, that we�re all gonna drown from flooding when our polar ice caps melt. So I hearby decree it possible, though not likely.

On a side note, scientists have been studying the effect of cows on global warming. Or rather, the effect of cows� farts. It seems that a cow fart has an extremely high methane gas content, and methane gas is supposedly a major contributor to global warming. And so another case for genetic research gets laid on the table, while the opposition continues to mutter phrases torn straight out of a Philip K. Dick novel.

Speaking of genetics, I highly recommend reading the book �Choke�, by Chuck Palanhiuk. This is the guy who wrote �Fight Club�. Before it became a movie. In the book, the main character might be a genetic clone of Jesus Christ, which would mean he is the second coming. (How is this possible? Think moyel.) The author also mentions how stem-cell cloning might help regenerate damaged brain tissue to cure diseases like Alzheimer�s, and other such nasties which make people do crazy things. It also goes rather in depth into what it�s like being a sex addict, which isn�t as erotic as you might think.

Which brings me to the subject of marriage. I�ve been noticing a large push on the part of conservatives to drain the pleasure out of getting married. It�s slowly being ingrained into our minds. Think about it. What other phrases do you associate with �getting married�? How about �starting a family.� �Raising kids.� �Settling down.� I�m sorry, but I refuse to think of marriage as a sedative, nor will I think of it as a contrivance for populating the world. I hear so many arguments about why homosexuals should not be allowed to get married, why gays are going to hell, why lesbianism is not natural. 75 percent of the time, the argument is that it�s not natural, that it�s impossible to procreate. The other 25 percent say that it�s because God said it�s wrong. But if you ask them why God said it�s wrong, they usually say that He said so because it�s not natural, and that�s impossible to procreate. I seem to recall similar arguments by the Catholic Church at the turn of the 20th Century about the advocacy of birth control. What it all adds up to, in my mind, is that we are being told that marriage is Nature�s contrivance for replenishing the world in the most stable possible manner. Well, I�m sorry, sex is pleasurable. And so is being in love. I will marry, if I marry, because I love someone, and want to spend the rest of my life with them. Marriage shouldn�t be about �settling down.� It should be a rejuvination into a child-like attitude, where every exploration is an adventure, and every action is imaginative and fun. Sounds a lot like what sex is, doesn�t it? What an interesting concept, that marriage should be just like sex. Even more interesting is when conservatives say that sex is wrong if the participants are not married. Maybe it�s just me, but I think society has progressed enough that marriage is no longer necessary. Now, that doesn�t mean I think marriage is not a good thing, nor does it mean that I think people shouldn�t get married. Like Socrates said, �By all means, marry.� But do it to satisfy yourselves. Don�t do it because you think you should.

And so, it�s summer. (A slightly round-about way of getting back on track). Ancient Celtic society believed summer to be a time of peace and prosperity. Druid bards (specifically Taliesen, one of the most famous Celtic druids) prophesied that one day a King would arise to establish a Kingdom of Summer, in which all men loved each other and helped those who had need. Many believed that Arthur was the Summer King. I think it�s slightly humorous that legend has it that Arthur is still healing on the Isle of Avalon, and is waiting for the day when he can return and re-establish his kingdom. Does this sound like any other historical figures we know?

Anyway, what I am currently wondering is how we have come from the old ideas of summer and hope to our current situation.

I don�t know about everyone else, but I avoid the news, and TV in general, at all costs. People are satisfying their inner voyeur by being glued to the television, so they might see the latest carnage. And while CNN depicts the situations in Israel, Afganistan, India, and Pakistan in all their gory detail, that is only a very small part of what I am talking about. Reality is no longer the news. It�s now complete with a pop soundtrack and a talentless narrator. Shows like �Survivor� and �The Bachelor� and �Temptation Island� disgust me. Why is it interesting to watch people act at their very worst?

Which brings us to the film I want to recommend to you all. �Series 7.� Here�s what �Survivor� should have been, if the networks were going to bother with reality programming at all. It�s all about the contestants being the first to kill everyone else. I guess that fans of �Survivor� may think that a bit extreme, but try watching any of the reality shows with the sound off, and I think you�ll begin to see how inane they really are. They aren�t dramatic, they aren�t suspenseful, they aren�t even interesting.

People sometimes ask me why I�m so cynical. Usually it�s because I�d prefer being labeled cynical than intelligent. The things that get passed off as intelligent disgust me. Intelligent TV: �Who wants to be a Millionaire?� Intelligent Music: Eminem. Boy bands. Britney. Intelligent Books: don�t even get me fucking started.

A friend of mine once said that one of the curses of the intellectual is that we never outgrow our sense of outrage or our capacity to dig for information on conditions that outrage us. The problem is that these conditions are not dealt with, merely pointed out. No one is doing anything. We�re all too scared. A hippie advancing on a cop to put a flower in his gun would never make it past three steps today. We are terrified of everyone else around us, and what they may be capable of.

And people wonder why I�m cynical!

A little while ago, I was hanging out with a friend of mine, having many cigarettes and more than a couple drinks. And I ask her, �Are you happy?� The only reason I asked was because I wasn�t, which shouldn�t surprise anyone still reading this. And what does she say? �Right now I am. I have my moments.�

And that�s when I realized that I was pretty happy, right at that moment, too.

Maybe that�s all we can ask for.

What I�m saying, trying to tell everyone, myself included, is that I think we should reevaluate our thinking. We should treat summer like the Celts, as a time of Hope and Love, and not like a time of melting. I think we all are in agreement that we don�t want to see the people we love die. Well, from a far enough away perspective, that pretty much includes everybody. We can help those who need help. We can give blood, donations, prayers, whatever it takes to bring goodness and hope and life back into the world. We can be satisfied.

And we can live as an example of what the world should be like. We can preach Utopia by living it, and doing what we feel we must. We can realize that even a moment of happiness is a good thing, and that it isn�t too hard to make those moment last longer and occur more often.

It is a pretty fucking dismal world we were never asked to be born into. Still, when I hear �Singin� in the Rain�, I think of Gene Kelly and not Malcolm McDowell. I wish the same for all of you.

And if this is the best we can do, if it�s the closest we can get to saving the world, then as Merlin the Magician might say: �So be it.�

---Rev. Michael Drace Fountain

�Never ascribe to malice that which may be adequately explained by stupidity.� �Hanlon�s Razor