Problem resolved? 2002-05-14

So I think I worked out a big prob with my girlfriend last night. maybe. I think....um...

Here's the gist: She's got a problem with homosexuals, I do not. We've gotten into several huge arguments about the issue, and nearly broken up over it. And then last night, by some miracle of the heavens, we sit down and talk about it, and both of us remain calm and rational. BOTH of us. Not just me. It was a little unbelievable, so I'll understand if you're skeptical.

So what came out of the whole conversation was a few understandings:

1. April feels that homosexuality is a political issue, not a personal one. I disagree, but understanding now how she feels about it helps her other arguments make a whole lot more sense.

2. She feels that marriage is based on the ability and willingness to have a family, or that it should be, considering how the married lifestyle changed with the advent of birthcontrol. I told her that her idea of marriage was Nature's contrivance to populate the world in the most effective and efficient manner. She didn't see my cynicism in the statement, so I told her I felt marriage was based on love, and procreating had nothing to do with it.

But again, it suddenly became clear to my why she was against gay marriage.

And suddenly, it was okay. I'm not sure how, but it was. I can disagree with someone on politics and religion and philosophy without getting frustrated or angry. But when I disagree with someone on moral issues, I start to throw down the gauntlet.

In previous arguments, she has made statements that sounded like she was against homosexual rights because she felt they were threatening her way of life. But apparently she was just getting emotional. She told me yesterday that if gay rights (same sex marriage, etc) pass in voting, then she'll be okay with it.

I refrained from mentioning that if it happened, she would be a hypocrite, but that was probably to my advantage.