Advice? 2003-07-24

so... I may be including too many males in this... but, it's been my observation, during my visits to the sexual arena, that most males have a general sense of uncomfortability about putting pressure on a female.

Whether it's seduction, or trying to get her in the mood, or just flat out asking, we feel slightly uncomfortable about it.
The male has been the sexual dominator since as far back as history records. I don't mean that in any sort of abusive way, just that the male has sort of been in charge all this time.

In the past century the female has risen in prominence, and more or less equalled out the balance of power in the sexual arena.
In some ways, she even exceeds the male. Standard rule: when a girl says no, back the fuck off. (yes, I meant that as a pun)
that's it. no questions.
Sometimes, a girl wished later that she had said no. Sometimes, a girl wishes during the act that she had said no. Sometimes their just scared to.

So given all this, guys face a certain amount of uncomfortability and nervousness when they exert pressure for physical intimacy.

Imagine, then, how that nervousness might change, if you suddenly found out that a girl you've been seeing has had problems with men exerting pressure in the past.

The thing that worries me about the whole situation, is how many girls out there who have had problems, but don't talk about it. Not that they should broadcast it over the airwaves or anything... but I would think that if they don't give their partner at least a inkling of the problem, there stands a chance of the relationship being psychologically damaging, because the guy didn't know any better.

That's all I'm saying, and I hope this helps